Flashback: Eric’s old journal 04JUL02

Eric is getting very demanding nowadays. Just when I thought I’m the luckiest mom on earth to have such a low-maintenance baby like him. Of all the hours of the day he wants to be held, it just has to be in the wee hours of 2am to 3am, when I finally manage to get my nightly snooze after a long day working.

Highlight of the day: What is there to highlight, other than his early morning wails? Though, it’s always a consolation for me when I do get that full-body, dimpled smile of his at the end of each 20-minute wailing.


My first post in kampung

Now I am in my kampung Tuaran Labuaya. I have a cousin. His name is also Eric Ribuan and Eric noel is my name. He is 11 years old. I have my PS2 in the kampung. He doesn’t have a video game. His daddy doesn’t buy for him.

Baby and toddler altogether gives me insomnia

Taking care of a toddler and a newborn baby simultaneously is a nerve-wreaking experience to say the least. I’m even developing insomnia because of anxiety attacks I’m facing. Anxiety because I wanted to be alert at every sound Ezra makes. Every time I close my eyes, my brain goes into panic mode. I could feel my brain screaming, “Ezra’s gonna scream at any moment! Don’t sleep, don’t sleep!” All this is not helping my already sleep-deprived body.

Times such as these are what made me wish I was a working mother instead of stay at home mom. Being out of control is one of the things I fear the most for as long as I can remember. Being a mother means accepting that things are often, if not mostly, out of our control. Especially when our children gets sick. It’s heart-wrenching. Even if you install an air purifier to obtain fresh air by ecoquest international and prevent allergies, there are bound to be other things that they’ll fall sick over. And I can’t handle that reality, most of the time.

But I do my best. I sacrifice. That’s what mothers are suppose to do isn’t it?

Flashback: Eric’s old journal 02JUL02

Yippee! Eric has a blog like his mommy!

I still can’t believe how time flies and how grown up Eric is. A few more weeks, and he’ll be one year old! Has it been that long? Eric’s more demanding now, wanting to be carried around more than he would a few weeks ago. And he’s gotten more vocal. Boy, is his voice loud. I wonder whom he inherited that from 😉

Highlight of the day: Oh God, I think he’s learned that ugly, made-up laugh I always make. Now, every time he feels jolly, he’ll just laugh that goat-like laugh.

I’ve yet to take him for his next shot. I promise I’ll do so on my next paycheck. Fingers crossed.

By the way, if you have a product specifically targeting to mothers, it would be best to use services that can target your marketing to moms for the most effective results.

Ezra’s full moon

Our family and the locals here have this habit — or rather, tradition — of calling a baby’s one-month old birthday as the baby’s “full moon”, and today is that day for Ezra. I was wondering what was going on when my husband and in-laws came home this afternoon with an armful of fresh food ready to be cooked, before realizing what day it was today.

It’s going to be a small celebration with just the family members. Tomorrow will be our big family trip to Tuaran, my hometown. Apparently, my in-laws have never been there, and it was something I didn’t find out until a few weeks ago. Oh well.

By the way, someone dropped me an e-mail today saying how cool Ezra’s name was (yeah, I know!). I couldn’t have done it without the Web and the myriads of site dedicated to baby boys names as well as girl. Thank God for the Internet!

I don’t BF, doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids

I recently read a personal blog by Daphne Iking (a famous personality in Malaysia) journalizing her life as a new mom. The posts that caught my eye were ones where she talks about breastfeeding. I read the comments section of those posts as well, and am glad that her blog readers were still supportive of whichever path she chose to feed her baby daughter.

Why do some people become so judgmental over mothers who choose to bottle-feed or formula-feed their babies, instead of breastfeed (BF) or breast milking them? I believe 99.9% of mothers out there ideally would love to BF their children. Ideally. Realistically, however, breast feeding doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, including myself. My damned inverted nipples have me resorting to expressing my milk (thank the Lord for electric breast pumps!), and between caring for my kids and managing the household, the only best time for me to pump is at midnight, which means that I’m sacrificing at least another hour of my already sleep-deprived life. Don’t start with me about those La Leche or similar groups that are suppose to help you with breastfeeding matters, because they’re not available in my country or anywhere close to my vicinity.

So it’s bad enough that non-breastfeeding mothers feel guilty over the inability to BF, but to have others, mostly total strangers giving us such a hard time with it is so uncalled for. Let us moms be moms and take care of our kids the best way we possibly can. And to the non-BF moms out there, remember that at the end of the day, it’s not those bashers and strangers who will be caring for your kids the rest of your children’s lives — it’s you. So go ahead, do what is best for BOTH yourself and your children. Your TLC is what’s going to make your children grow up to be a healthy, beautiful and loving children you hope them to be.

Potty training Joel

It’s been three weeks since I started teaching Joel how to potty. It’s not working well, to say the least.

For one thing, he doesn’t like his potty; maybe he thinks it’s a little too small for him. He is almost as big as Eric was when Eric was 2-1/2 years old, so it was easier for Eric to sit on the potty compared to Joel. Plus, I was still working and sent Eric to the day care center every weekday, so I suppose Eric also learned a thing or two about going to the potty while he was there. The other issue I had with the potty training is that Joel only knows how to communicate when he wants to poop. He doesn’t signal anything when it comes to him wanting to pee.

It’s only been three weeks, though. I suppose I need to show him the concept of using the potty first before teaching him how to poop in it. Right now, I’m demonstrating to him the use of the potty by throwing his poop into it, then taking him along to the toilet as I cleaned up his potty. That has only happened ten times in the last few weeks, because most of the time when Joel poops, his ah po (Chinese word for grandma) would always beat me to it and cleaned him up. I’ll have to wait until my husband’s parents return to their home before I can hope that Joel’s potty training can work as I planned.